Learning through Each Other

A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel...Proverbs 1:5

I think as humans, we are taught that we can do everything by ourselves, it's called independence right?   What I've always tried to figure out is relationships then.  What are they for?  Well, I believe that God placed us on Earth together to learn from and lean on each other. 

In Genesis 2:18, The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

I struggled with this for a long time.  I wanted to be the do all, know all in my life.  I even turned away from my Faith in these times.  But, I'm back.  As one of my favorite talk show hosts Dr. Phil Says.....How's that working for you?  The answer is....not well.  I always thought that depending on others meant a sign of weakness.

However, in the past 1-2 years, I realized, I can't function alone.  I have to have others.

Here's the other struggles I've had with my Faith.  The Why's.  Why did I get Bipolar?  How come I have high social anxiety?  What about Diabetes, why did it have to be me?

I believe that we are all given different experiences so we can be brought together to learn.  No matter what hand we are dealt, it could help someone else.

Recently, I have had 2 experiences that have tested my fears.  One was a inner-church women's retreat.  At it, we were split into groups of 3-4 with total strangers.  Big time smack in my social anxiety self.  But, I spoke up and said within the group, this is really uncomfortable for me.  I struggle in social situations.  And you know what, I wasn't judged.  I made a couple of great friends that day.  They all said they admired my honesty.  What?  Admired something I did?  Once I got it out, I really got it out, we all opened up and I learned so much from them.  Without that authenticity, I don't know what the experience would have been like.

The second of these experiences is in my small group.  For years, I have searched for a group of people I could really connect and experience faith with.  What I found is I haven't always been the most receptive person either.  But, finally I found a group of women I can trust.  Here is where the trust came into play.  Sometimes, I really struggle pushing through social anxiety.  Sometimes, like EVERY Thursday which is small group night.  You know how easy it has been to find excuses.  Well, pretty darn easy.  Anyhow, today, just today, I decided to fess up to my behaviors.  I wrote a short email to the leader and the others.  In it I told them of my struggle and how I loved that I had finally found a group of truly genuine women.  That it is still very hard for me to push through the door and show up.  But, I couldn't do it without knowing that I'm in a judge free zone.  I really feel like I needed to be real about what I had going on.

I guess my overall point is that you never know what something you say, do, or have learned can help others.  So, as hard as it can be, make baby steps to put yourself out there.  It will be ok.  God's got your back.

Take care and God Bless!

Fitting In

You created every part of me; you put me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because you are to be feared; all you do is strange and wonderful. I know it with all my heart.  Psalm  139: 13-14

In life, we all have choices to make.  We all have decisions to make.  All of these choices and decisions begin to build us.  They shape who we are.  Sometimes with decisions, comes overwhelming joy.  Those decisions of having a baby, becoming a newlywed, starting a new job.  But sometimes, our decisions, are not always positive.  We all have skeletons.

As a child, I always thought you had to hide everything different about you to "fit in"  Unfortunately, hiding didn't fix the problem I felt.  I felt alone. 

I felt alone because inside I didn't believe I was worthy of other's acceptance.  But, those inner thoughts start a bad spiral. 

The truth is that if you don't begin to learn who you are to yourself and in God's eyes.....all of who you are, the spiral will continue.

As an adult, I still get stuck in the spiral but am getting better.  I have always had a strong faith but didn't know what that really meant for me.  So, I have always been searching.  Searching for a group of people I can connect with.  I have looked in parenting groups, work groups, churches, and sometimes even in friends and family.  Yet, so often, I would come up empty handed.

I couldn't figure it out.  Well, recently, I have came to a realization.  I was looking for something I had to find inside first.  Love and acceptance.  Everywhere I was searching was empty.  People were not always authentic. 

What I've learned through it all is that you have to be genuine and authentic to receive that.  While this is an everyday battle for me to be real, I've come a long way baby! 

And with all the distance I've travelled I'm happy to say that I'm beginning to find my "people"  I have a great best friend.  Some great relationships with family members.  And I finally found a wonderful church group full of imperfect people just like I am.  And you know what?  We are all ok.  Normal even.

Today I just want to encourage everyone, don't worry about fitting in and worry about filling in.  Fill in your insides with faith and love and look out world....here you come!

So today as I close, I will add a picture of a group of "Normal" People, my church group.  Thanks to everyone in my life who have built me up and understood in all the times of my life.  Take care and God Bless!