ARGH--------And not the pirate scream

Ok peeps....let's get real for a moment.  ARGH!  Sometimes, I get so frustrated at myself I just want to scream and shake myself silly.  Lately, I have been in that state.  The state of I wants and not the state of I dos.  I want to change my lifestyle.  I want to eat at home.  I want to pack my food.  I want to exercise.  WANT WANT WANT!  And I'm not doing anything about it.  Some days I cope well, and others I don't.  Today is a don't

This week, I will give myself credit I packed lunch the past two days.  That's a huge movement in the right direction.

But, the wishy washiness and living in the wants is driving me crazy.  I'm full of excuses.  I don't feel well.  The kids.  The family.  The embarrassment.  All of the above.  Truth is my kids are 14 & 16 and really don't need babying any more.  The family can run an hour without me.  So what does that leave, personal excuses.

See, I've lived my life full of people anxiety. The very thought of exposing myself to the unknown is often time paralyzing mentally and even physically. 

Today, I made a few decisions around my health.  I'm very nervous but believe it will help me on my journey.  I have been a weight watchers member for a long time now.  While I love the accountability of weighing in front of someone.  That's about all I'm active in.  I rarely stay for the meetings or use the online tools available.  So, I decided to cancel my membership for the time-being.  How does that help my journey?  Well, I am going to attempt to swap those funds to something even more scary

There is a jazzercise center out in Gretna, literally 5-8 minutes away from my house.  I have been wanting to go since December and haven't.  Well, they have 7 free sessions right now.  Then you can decide to join or not join.  So, how can you go wrong?  By not stepping in the door in fear.  That is where I'm at.  I love dancing fitness workouts.  But, I gotta get there.  While no one can physically drag me there, sometimes I wish I was the bratty little kid being dragged by my mom out the door.  :-) 

So, today I decided. There is a class at 440.  This is perfect.  I get home by 410, change clothes and zip I'm there. 

While it seems so minimal......it's a mountain in my life right now.  To get over the anxiety and this physical rut I'm in. 

So for today, think of those that are like me and terrified to put themselves out there.  There are lots of us just waiting to get out!  I am surrounded by some very positive encouragers but it's still the inside of me that has to come out. 

I shall close in saying, I will Do it.  The most important part of success is the second letter.  That's on my screen saver full of motivational sayings.  Until my next post...hopefully a story of success tomorrow.

Take care and God Bless!