"Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us." 1 John 4:11-12
Awhile ago, my husband and I went to counseling to revitalize our relationship goals. As I have said before, sometimes we take on other roles and forget about the foundation of our relationship. One of the principles we talked about were the 5 love languages. Everyone communicates and desires different things in any relationship. However, we often assume the other knows what we want without speaking it. I was once told that the gap between expectation and reality is misery. I believe this to be true. We all have expectations in life and some are so lofty that they just can't be met at that level. So, as we lower our expectations and come closer to reality, the less misery we feel.
Here are the five basic languages of love according to Gary Chapman:
Words of Affirmation--Using positive words to affirm the one you love.
Gifts--Giving thoughtful gifts to show you were thinking about someone.
Acts of Service--Doing something that you know the other person would like
Quality Time--Giving your undivided attention.
Physical Touch--Holding hand, Putting a hand on the shoulder, Hugging
According to Gary, many couples earnestly love each other but do not communicate their love in an effective way. If you don't speak your spouse's primary love language, he or she may not feel loved, even if you are showing love in other ways.
In today's society I think we are rushed through relationships and often times land in a pool of disappointment. Today, let's commit to making a change. Don't overhaul because this may lead to disappointment as well. What small change can you make in your interaction with others to make a difference?
For me, I am going to commit to listening. I am quick to rebuke others statements. I often times find myself coming up with the response before they are finished.
Father, help me to be a student of my spouse. I want to know how best to show my love. Please give me wisdom as I try to determine my beloved's love language.
Until next time....take care and God Bless!
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2 comments:
I think in every marriage or relationship it is hard to not to see fault in the other. We forget that sometimes we are the ones who have said something in a certain way that may trigger a reaction in your loved one and not really mean to do it.
I think we all need to listen and I know I am guilty of jumping ahead before someone is finished speaking.
We all live and learn to be better people and just a little something goes a long way.
Keep up the good work and know you are loved.
Mom & Pop
Communication is so critical to any relationship and so hard to get right sometimes. I think this is a good reminder to put energy into trying to do positive things for your loved ones, which is also to truly listen to what they say and what they need. Great blog!
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