So easy it is to put on a mask and pretend everything is going great. This I call acting, and I am downright good at it. My last post was about picking a new fork. I committed to being a more positive person. Well, here I am talking about my struggle in positivity.
Lately, I have been going through some personal turmoil and am letting it drag me down. This turmoil is multi-faceted. Both at home and in myself, I find myself searching for perfection. Reality is this isn't possible. I want my life to be the Brady Bunch and my weight to fall off like it does on Biggest Loser.
Truth is, neither of these desires are real. They are both TV Shows. While Biggest Loser coins itself as reality television, it's the furthest thing from reality there is.
I am stuck in a tough cycle and trying to break out. Surrounding my weight loss, I am upset because the numbers aren't moving like I think they should. So, how do I solve it? With food of course, cuz you know, that will help. So, I find myself eating stuff I shouldn't. Self sabotage. I am better at that then acting.
So, today I am transparent. Reaching out to my support groups and saying that I am struggling.
I am so much stronger than I used to be though and know I can conquer. I just have to know that my road will not be perfectly straight and flat. Bumps and swerves will come. I have to embrace them and not let them run me.
Take care and God Bless!
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Any time we do hard things there is always that little voice on our shoulder telling us the negative and the positive that comes from it. The negative is that your voice says that this is not really doing any good. The positive part is where you begin to feel better, more in sync with what is going on around you, make you feel more positive and you keep going to make it one more day.
As for the Brady Bunch, Biggest Loser is just what you say not a reality. All families have problems, challenges, times when you feel alone and surrounded by people who "you" think are much better, prettier, thinner, healthier than you. All of us have our struggles and trials. The saying goes "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
Each time you go see the trainer, you are adding days to your life. You are getting up off the couch and deciding to make your life richer by living longer, able to cope with trials and be healthier in the long run.
Kids live by example. Think of all the benefits of your going in early to work to exercise, going to the gym, when you know you had rather sleep an extra hour or so. Your children are watching you and learning how to be strong, healthy live their lives. You may not see it today or tomorrow but one day you will see where all your devotion made a difference. Number 1 you will be there to see this by taking care of yourself now.
You have got this this is just a little pothole in life. Live your life as they say as if no one is watching. You can do this and WILL.
Remember no one is perfect but one.......We can only strive to be as good as we can. You deserve a gold star. What a hero for your kids and family. You are so admired. It has been said lots of times that you are such a good Christian girl. We could all learn from your example.
Love you so much,
Mom
PS....Remember muscle weighs more than fat so you are building muscle.
You are continuing to make progress even in this. Stay focused and surround yourself with people who are on board with your journey and lean on them to help you through. I know you will be successful because you already have been. Deep breath. Step forward and just start again. Love you!
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