Taking Pride in the Little Things

Pride: A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired

Pride has always been a difficult word for me.  I have always viewed pride as being egotistical.  As of late conversations with people I care about and that care about me, I have began to realize this isn't the case.  There is a vast difference between being prideful and being stuck on yourself. 

I am a very slow learner at times, so this has to be beaten into me head many times.  😃 

Today I begin a new journey.  One day by one day.  One in which I take a moment every day to realize what I have done/accomplished in that day.  I believe by taking the time to do this, it helps to clear your mind of negative thoughts.

So this morning, I woke up--praise the Lord.  I showered, I packed my lunch for work to avoid unhealthy decisions.  I went to work--sometimes tough to do.  And I have read my devotional.  These are all very small things, but together I DID THAT.  No one else did it for me.  I made choices.  As the day continues, I will take note of the little things and smile inside about the positive choices and things that surround me. 

We all make daily choices that impact our lives and the lives of those around us.  Spend some time today reflecting on your choices, your lives.  Be grateful for what you have been blessed with and more mindful of decisions you make.

Until next time, take care and God Bless!

Favorites

In this world of busyness, have you taken the time to slow down and self discover?  I find myself stuck in a rut of being a mom and a wife and have forgotten what I am truly about.  Things I love and Things I don't.  Today I begin a journey of self discovery.  What makes me happy?  These are a few of my favorite things:

Favorite Activity: Scrapbooking and spending time with my whole family
Favorite Animal: I have to say horses.  I have always found them beautiful.
Favorite Book: I love all devotionals.  But my favorite book would have to be a book titled the
       Resolution for Women.  This is a book about becoming the woman God intended us to be.
Favorite Candy Bar: Well, my nemesis is Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
Favorite Color:  I go with maroon.  This color is soothing to me
Favorite Family Activity:  I really enjoy going bowling.  While it can be a little too competitive for   
        some.  I find it to be a physical activity that we all seem to enjoy
Favorite Holiday:  SHOCKING----Christmas.  I love everything about this holiday
Favorite Movie: 50 First Dates.  I love the comedy aspect of this movie
Favorite Place to Go:  In the past I would have said Branson.  But now I find I love Kansas City. 
        Some of my favorite people live down there.  It is always a good time
Favorite Season of the Year:  I love Spring.  It is a sign of new life.  The weather is usually good.
Favorite Song:  My new favorite song is Chain Breaker by Zach Williams.
Favorite Thing I Did This Year:  Still early in the year, but our family Easter celebration will always
        be a favorite of mine


I have babbled:  But, I will take this list and begin to ponder how to do things that make me happy to be me.  I often take the opportunity to please others and leave myself out of the equation.  It's time to slow down and become Julie again in all my splendor.

Thanks for taking the time to read.....Until next time, Take care and God Bless!

My Journey

jour·ney

ˈ

noun: an act of traveling from one place to another.

                 Almost a year and a half ago I began a journey to a healthier me.  It began as an effort to lose weight, but has transformed into much more.  It has become a journey of self discovery.  I am learning that weight loss cannot only be measured by the number on the scale.  I am also learning that no matter where I am on the pathway, I must not give up.  The numbers have not moved the way I would like to say they have, but I am still pushing on.

                I have learned a lot about myself in the past year and a half.  I AM STRONG:  I am able to do far more than I ever thought I would be able to.  I AM BRAVE: I have stepped out of my comfort zone and learned new things in the process.  I AM LOVED: I have learned the importance of surrounding myself with a support group who is on their own journey.  I AM NOT ALONE: By being transparent about my journey, I have realized that everyone is on their own journey with battles and you should never feel like you are the only one on the pathway.

Behind the Mask

Ahh........Who doesn't love a good masquerade party????  Don't we all. It's all good, right?  Well all good.....until you crash into the reality called life. 

I have learned to hide behind masks all my life.  I have learned to make believe through anger, sadness, hopelessness, and even sometimes manic episodes.  I  have had masks through my marriage, my parenting, and various other relationships in life.

However, I have been working very hard in counseling to pull these masks off one by one.  I have learned that the method of lies and masks just causes things to cave in and snowball around you and cause stress.

So, here I am, naked.....EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK  Look out Ethel!  lol

I am ready to take on the world minute by minute, piece by piece learning every step of the way.  I am ready to look at my marriage as a partnership and knock the wall down that I have had around myself. 

I know......watch out Julie......you're going manic.  Well, I feel a little different this time.  See mania is an interesting thing for me.  I think mania is another mask to hide fear.   I fear being alone or unaccepted.  Therefore, I do the core things people in a manic episode do.......spend money and get overinvolved.  But there is a key piece to mania I have recently discovered.  Loneliness.  It's funny.  People seem so happy in manic states.  But, behind the "mask" is sadness.  That's why this is different.  I am heading into life head first but not alone.  I have a family filled with love supporting me and a newfound partnership in my marriage.

I kinda babbled this time.  But, I guess my overall point is.........when life seems to much to handle.  Don't put on the mask and hide.....step out from behind the mask and reach out for help.  Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

Take care and God Bless

Living Beyond Yourself

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."  Galatians 5: 22-23

So I asked my counselor, is it a good idea to join a small group at church right now.  Her answer was no that I shouldn't take anything else on right now.  But......what does she know.....she's only the professional. 

Anyhow, I went against the odds and dove in head first last night.  See, I have been in a spiritual rut.  I have been consumed with external stresses and not been able to focus on anything.  I made the decision that I needed to surround myself with the word and other believers and I'm glad I did.

Last night was the first night of the Bible study.  It is from 630-830 on Wednesday nights.  There was a large group of 18 women last night. It is called Living Beyond Yourself-Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit by Beth Moore.  It is an hour long video by Beth Moore, discussion and prayer time with homework.  ARGH HOMEWORK.  :-)  This is why I wasn't supposed to take anything else on.   In the past though, I have given up.  I didn't do my work, so I just gave up.  This time, I commit to being different.  I will do what I can.  And if I don't get it done, I commit to showing up still. 

Sometimes that's all we have in life.  The ability to show up.  We may feel defeated or tired, but we still show be it mentally or physically.

Here's the good news that Beth talked about in the introduction last night.  I CAN BE DIFFERENT!  She said "We have a now God"  God can change our lives now, day to day.  It doesn't have to be a production.  It isn't reserved for anyone else.  It's ours to claim.  We can fill our self with the spirit of God now. 

I have always felt inferior in the Spiritual department discounting the realities.  Saying, well He isn't referring to me in that passage.

I can't wait to see what the Lord has in mind for me as I progress through this study!

Take care and God Bless!

Learning the Love Languages

"Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.  No one has ever seen God.  But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us."  1 John 4:11-12

Awhile ago, my husband and I went to counseling to revitalize our relationship goals.  As I have said before, sometimes we take on other roles and forget about the foundation of our relationship.  One of the principles we talked about were the 5 love languages.  Everyone communicates and desires different things in any relationship.  However, we often assume the other knows what we want without speaking it.  I was once told that the gap between expectation and reality is misery.  I believe this to be true.  We all have expectations in life and some are so lofty that they just can't be met at that level.  So, as we lower our expectations and come closer to reality, the less misery we feel.

Here are the five basic languages of love according to Gary Chapman:

Words of Affirmation--Using positive words to affirm the one you love.
Gifts--Giving thoughtful gifts to show you were thinking about someone.
Acts of Service--Doing something that you know the other person would like
Quality Time--Giving your undivided attention.
Physical Touch--Holding hand, Putting a hand on the shoulder, Hugging

According to Gary, many couples earnestly love each other but do not communicate their love in an effective way.  If you don't speak your spouse's primary love language, he or she may not feel loved, even if you are showing love in other ways.

In today's society I think we are rushed through relationships and often times land in a pool of disappointment.    Today, let's commit to making a change.  Don't overhaul because this may lead to disappointment as well.  What small change can you make in your interaction with others to make a difference? 

For me, I am going to commit to listening.  I am quick to rebuke others statements.  I often times find myself coming up with the response before they are finished. 

Father, help me to be a student of my spouse.  I want to know how best to show my love.  Please give me wisdom as I try to determine my beloved's love language.

Until next time....take care and God Bless!

Transparency in Difficult Times

So easy it is to put on a mask and pretend everything is going great.  This I call acting, and I am downright good at it.  My last post was about picking a new fork.  I committed to being a more positive person.  Well, here I am talking about my struggle in positivity.

Lately, I have been going through some personal turmoil and am letting it drag me down.  This turmoil is multi-faceted.  Both at home and in myself, I find myself searching for perfection.  Reality is this isn't possible.  I want my life to be the Brady Bunch and my weight to fall off like it does on Biggest Loser.

Truth is, neither of these desires are real.  They are both TV Shows.  While Biggest Loser coins itself as reality television, it's the furthest thing from reality there is.

I am stuck in a tough cycle and trying to break out.  Surrounding my weight loss, I am upset because the numbers aren't moving like I think they should.  So, how do I solve it?  With food of course, cuz you know, that will help.  So, I find myself eating stuff I shouldn't.  Self sabotage.  I am better at that then acting.

So, today I am transparent.  Reaching out to my support groups and saying that I am struggling.

I am so much stronger than I used to be though and know I can conquer.  I just have to know that my road will not be perfectly straight and flat.  Bumps and swerves will come.  I have to embrace them and not let them run me.

Take care and God Bless!