Mania

Mania....such an interesting part of Bipolar disorder.  See, mania often masks itself as excess energy.  This weekend I had a 3 day weekend.  These long weekends are great and I was able to spend it with my husband and family.  However, I found my mind racing.  In mania, this excess energy manifests itself in different ways for different people.  For me, it puts me into fix it mode.  During mania, I believe I can do all and fix all and everything will be better.  The funny thing is usually things are ok before I try to attack them.  While everything in life can be adjusted at times and often times bettered.  Everything in life can't be done all at one time.  WHAT????  I know shocking right!  For me, recognition is a huge step.  In the past with my bipolar, it would often times be weeks or months prior to being able to recognize what I call the yellow light symptoms.  Yep, I had blown through the yellow light and was sitting on red.  Now, through the help of counseling and supportive family and friends, I am almost instantly recognizing the symptoms.  So, after recognition is to begin to utilize the tools I have been taught.  Being open with others is a huge part of this.  Mania is often easy to disguise.  Admission for me is a way to allow others to keep a mental check on me.  While I am an adult, manic episodes often lead me down a path of destruction that I don't like to be on.  So, here I am.  Transparent once again.  Manic episode is still around, but I am slowly pulling out through the relaxation techniques I have been taught, the loving support of those around me, and being self aware of my episode.  Thanks once again for being there!