The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over your with loud singing....Zephaniah 3:17
God's Song in Me.....scientists have learned how to take a person's DNA structure and make music out of it...I love knowing the my DNA, which is like no other DNA in the whole wide world, is also a song like no one else's. God not only created me. He wrote a song in me and I believe He sings that song to me every day of my life. Peel back the layers, listen for God's voice singing your song into your life, and rediscover the original, marvelous you He created you to be......Joy for the Journey Devotional
Today is a choice to be grateful in the time of distress. As I opened my daily devotional today I felt overwhelmed and thoughts of the why me. And then, like always, God puts the words in front of me that I needed to hear.
God's plan is in action in our lives every day. The good, the bad, and the ugly. He is in control. In times of distress, I tend to turn my back on the very ones that I need the most. Isolation is my coping device. However, recently, I have learned that isolation is not the healthy place to be. We must surround ourselves with support and love. For some, this may be one person. To some, it may be many. For me, I have different people for different support. Weight loss support, diabetes support, bipolar support.....all of these look different to me. While I have a few core people in my life that help me across the board, I choose to surround myself with others that can relate to that part of the journey.
In this journey we call life, we must remember to not turn our back on the Lord. I have had a lot of ups and downs in my lives. Like clock work I can relate many of these to my struggles with my faith. As most of you know, as a family, we changed churches about 2 years ago to a large church. We did so as we were seeking a larger youth opportunity for the kids. I really struggled with this decision as I felt I had made many connections at my current church. But, as my counselor said, sometimes we have to step back and let others grow in their journey with God. 2 years later, I am still feeling separated and am lacking connections. This loss has caused me to not go to church.
My faith is a huge part of my journey. This week, my husband and I have discussed the need to attend church on a regular basis and will begin to make our way back to church. We will remain at Westside as the kids love the program there. While I may not feel "connected" with people, I have come to realize that it is my journey with Christ, not my journey to a social life. I think as I continue to reconnect, people or small group will be put back into my life in God's time.
So in closing, whatever path you may be on or fork you may be at, be confident that God is with you, he's got your back. As always, take care and God Bless
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Anxiety & Worry
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus......Philippians 4:6-7
Recently, I have began another aspect on my journey to a healthier me. As many of you know, my spirituality is very important to me. Lately, I have let myself drain of this. Inside I have felt empty and somewhat uncaring.
Anxiety and worry is something that often creeps it's ugly head and fills my head with what my counselor calls stinkin thinkin. :-) Living life through the what if's destroys your todays.
Lately, I have been regrouping and doing my daily devotionals. Yes that is plural. When on track, I do one for my marriage, one for myself, and one for general Christianity. Right now I am doing The Love Dare Day by Day based on the movie Fireproof. It's a Wonderful Imperfect Life, and Joy for the Journey.
The Bible verse above was part of my daily reading today. My counselor last week said to me that sometimes we have to sit back and watch the show instead of running the show. That it's usually not our show to run. This smacked me in the face. I like to be in control. But, she is right.
Lately, we have been taking our daughter to counseling for various things. Just like in many houses, there are many moments of tension between siblings and child vs parent. We all push for our pecking order. So, as a mom, I think I can handle it. Sit back and watch me work my magic. Well, my "magic" seems to not always work darn it.
So this verse hit home for me. Do not be anxious, pray and turn your control over to Him. By doing so, he will protect us.
So as I close today......Let Go and Let God. Let's slow down our pace and enjoy the todays. Let's face it, kids grow up, parents grow older, and days pass to quickly. Take a bite out of today and don't let it go.
Take care and God Bless
Recently, I have began another aspect on my journey to a healthier me. As many of you know, my spirituality is very important to me. Lately, I have let myself drain of this. Inside I have felt empty and somewhat uncaring.
Anxiety and worry is something that often creeps it's ugly head and fills my head with what my counselor calls stinkin thinkin. :-) Living life through the what if's destroys your todays.
Lately, I have been regrouping and doing my daily devotionals. Yes that is plural. When on track, I do one for my marriage, one for myself, and one for general Christianity. Right now I am doing The Love Dare Day by Day based on the movie Fireproof. It's a Wonderful Imperfect Life, and Joy for the Journey.
The Bible verse above was part of my daily reading today. My counselor last week said to me that sometimes we have to sit back and watch the show instead of running the show. That it's usually not our show to run. This smacked me in the face. I like to be in control. But, she is right.
Lately, we have been taking our daughter to counseling for various things. Just like in many houses, there are many moments of tension between siblings and child vs parent. We all push for our pecking order. So, as a mom, I think I can handle it. Sit back and watch me work my magic. Well, my "magic" seems to not always work darn it.
So this verse hit home for me. Do not be anxious, pray and turn your control over to Him. By doing so, he will protect us.
So as I close today......Let Go and Let God. Let's slow down our pace and enjoy the todays. Let's face it, kids grow up, parents grow older, and days pass to quickly. Take a bite out of today and don't let it go.
Take care and God Bless
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Stress and Trying to Stay on Track
Hmmmm....Those two things in the same heading seem impossible. I am an all or nothing kind of person which often times causes difficulty in my daily life. While at work, I am able to successfully multi task, in my personal life I struggle. I have diabetes, bipolar, kids with ADHD, a house to keep up, and now some medical problems for my dad.
Dad has always been the healthy one in the family. However, shockingly, he has been ill for a couple of months with a supposed case of pneumonia. Recently, we have discovered that it's not pneumonia but rather heart problems. He is suffering from an artery that is half blocked and a valve this is stuck open. We, as a family, are facing open heart surgery and the long recovery that accompanies it.
However, in previous posts, I have talked about self care and the importance of doing so. Yet, once again, I have tossed some of that out the window. I find myself having to make intentional thoughts behind doing what should be routine. Be it testing or taking my medication. Or, the most important is my journey to a healthier me. This has really taken a back step. While by some magic, I have maintained, that is not my goal. I am looking down my nose at 20 lbs and want to get there!
At home, we have sought some counseling for my precious daughter. She is struggling at school this year and we wanted to make sure we are covering all our bases. We found what seems to be an excellent counselor. She is young and fun and best of all she had a STUFFED TURTLE in her office. Mackenzie loves turtles. lol
So, today, I reach out to my support group. I have emailed my weight loss buddies with complete transparency. I know it's time to jump back in the saddle whether the horse is bucking or not.
So, here I am, in all my glory. Jump starting my life once again. I know all will be fine, just have to remember the oxygen mask story my counselor has taught me. You cannot help others on the plane until you have your own oxygen mask on. Thanks for listening.
Take care and God Bless!
Dad has always been the healthy one in the family. However, shockingly, he has been ill for a couple of months with a supposed case of pneumonia. Recently, we have discovered that it's not pneumonia but rather heart problems. He is suffering from an artery that is half blocked and a valve this is stuck open. We, as a family, are facing open heart surgery and the long recovery that accompanies it.
However, in previous posts, I have talked about self care and the importance of doing so. Yet, once again, I have tossed some of that out the window. I find myself having to make intentional thoughts behind doing what should be routine. Be it testing or taking my medication. Or, the most important is my journey to a healthier me. This has really taken a back step. While by some magic, I have maintained, that is not my goal. I am looking down my nose at 20 lbs and want to get there!
At home, we have sought some counseling for my precious daughter. She is struggling at school this year and we wanted to make sure we are covering all our bases. We found what seems to be an excellent counselor. She is young and fun and best of all she had a STUFFED TURTLE in her office. Mackenzie loves turtles. lol
So, today, I reach out to my support group. I have emailed my weight loss buddies with complete transparency. I know it's time to jump back in the saddle whether the horse is bucking or not.
So, here I am, in all my glory. Jump starting my life once again. I know all will be fine, just have to remember the oxygen mask story my counselor has taught me. You cannot help others on the plane until you have your own oxygen mask on. Thanks for listening.
Take care and God Bless!
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
2 MONTHS??? Really
Wow....I knew it had been awhile since I had posted but didn't realize it had been quite that long. Let's see....what's been going on. More of the same. I am still on my journey to a healthier me. My current weight is 191.4. Slowly but surely I am approaching 20 lbs of weight loss. When I began this journey, it didn't seem possible. But wow.....20 lbs is a huge accomplishment! The funny thing with weight loss is it's like when you watch your kid grow. You don't always notice the changes yourself until someone points it out. Well, I am proud to say I am up to 8 people that have commented on my transformation outside of the house. That makes me feel good. In fact, one was just yesterday. I needed that boost. I have been going through the motions for about two weeks and was feeling beat down. But to know that I am still making a difference is fabulous. I reached out to one of partners in crimes, my sister, whom I look up to. Not that you want anyone else to suffer, but it was somewhat nice to hear she struggles too. As a human being, we are prone to thinking that we are alone and the only one that "fails" As I grow in this journey, I realize these failures are just temporary bumps. Bumps that can sometimes be prevented but never the less just a bump. Here at work, I have another accountability partner when it comes to diet. I have known her for a long time and always thought man she must have it easy being so skinny. Guess what? She doesn't. She craves too! She has a tough time at home too! Again, just another example of the journeys we are all on. Setting goals. Well, I am a goal setter and work well on a reward system. I know, kind of childish, but it works for me. The important thing to know is that goals must be flexible and fluid. It's interesting to visit with others in different legs of their journeys and see where they are at with goals. Some of us are focusing on fitness. Some of us are focusing on diet. Some of us are focusing on sugar/carb intake. Some of us are in strength training mode. There is one key word through all of that. Focus, Focus, Focus. For me, I like to multi-task focus. I think I can do all of it at the same time. Then, what happens is I say I can't do it all, I'm not going to do anything. I guess I'm trying to say, don't beat yourself up for slacking in an area. Jump back in the saddle, we got this!
Until next time....take care and God Bless!
Until next time....take care and God Bless!
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Before----After a Few Pounds
Well......the good, the bad, the ugly. That is what this transparent blog is about. As promised, my husband finally took a couple of before shots for my health transformation. While I am not pleased, I am still proud of where I have come from and can't wait to see the transformation continue. Sometimes we just need a reminder of the work we still have and another reminder that you are making progress even if the numbers on the scale don't always show. So, with much dismay.....tah dah. This is me:
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Monday Motivators
OK....well it's Tuesday. BUT.....I had to give an update on my health transformation journey. So I had a few weeks of either stable or gain weight loss. Finally, two weeks in a row I have lost. I am now down to 195.2 and seeing 194 around the corner. Yesterday, I did my first 2 a day workout. I did a 40 minute fat burning power walk dvd and then did a circuit training class at the gym. I was exhausted and sore, but at the same time felt proud. I also ran 5 minutes during the class. I haven't ran in years, well never! :-)
I also wanted to thank my sister and mom for the continued support and motivation. We have joined our own little support group called the Monday Motivators. It's an accountability group full of positive support. No matter the number, we check in with our results from the previous week and let each other know of successes and frustrations.
So for today....I shall check out. Take care and God bless!
I also wanted to thank my sister and mom for the continued support and motivation. We have joined our own little support group called the Monday Motivators. It's an accountability group full of positive support. No matter the number, we check in with our results from the previous week and let each other know of successes and frustrations.
So for today....I shall check out. Take care and God bless!
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Happy Birthday Mackenzie!
Why does it matter what I believe?
Short week this week so I am late getting this post. This labor day weekend was a good one. We didn't do much as Mackenzie is out with a hurt knee. Cody was at Mahoney State Park with a friend of his fishing, riding horses, and just having fun.
I did get to spend Monday scrapping. YAY! I invited over Jen and a friend from my old church Connie. As I continue to grow in my journey of faith, I realize how nice it is to be blessed with Christian friends. While we were together to scrapbook, it became a time of fellowship. A time to reflect on our belief system. In fact, we decided we are going to form a small group Bible study out of my house based on the 40 days of purpose that I have been reading. We are planning on meeting at least once a month but hopefully twice. Amazing how God works and brings us together.
We were talking about Jen and I's friendship that we have known each other since high school. As adults, we have been able to learn about each other in many different facets. We have been going through the Total Money Makeover with Dave Ramsey (Still a work in progress) We have scrapbooked about our trips, our families, and our friends. And now, we are going to begin another new journey as we learn God's purpose. I can't wait to begin and bond even more with Jen and Connie than I already have.
In the meantime, here is a summary of my lesson today about our worldview.....the beliefs we build our life on
There are 7 popular worldviews. They are as follows:
Materialism-The one with the most toys wins
Individualism-I've got to think of me first
Hedonism-I do whatever feels good
Pragmatism-I do whatever works for me
Naturalism-God doesn't exist or matter
Humanism-You are your own God
Theism-God made me for his purposes. Theology, Study of God
Why does it matter what I believe? Proverbs 4:23 says Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. How powerful and true is that. Our minds and beliefs determine our behaviors. Often times, we go with the flow or our feelings. Feelings are driven by the thoughts we have. So, how do we build this thinking muscle? By working it out just like we do our other physical attributes. To strengthen your worldview, there are 4 things we need to do: Learn what is true, Discern what is false, Turn from the world to the word, and Concern yourself with God's agenda.
So, which view are you going to follow? The empty views or those that are supported by God's Word? For me, I shall dive into the Word and find continue to find out what the Lord has in store for me through learning, faithfulness, and commitment.
Until next time, God Bless and Take Care.
I did get to spend Monday scrapping. YAY! I invited over Jen and a friend from my old church Connie. As I continue to grow in my journey of faith, I realize how nice it is to be blessed with Christian friends. While we were together to scrapbook, it became a time of fellowship. A time to reflect on our belief system. In fact, we decided we are going to form a small group Bible study out of my house based on the 40 days of purpose that I have been reading. We are planning on meeting at least once a month but hopefully twice. Amazing how God works and brings us together.
We were talking about Jen and I's friendship that we have known each other since high school. As adults, we have been able to learn about each other in many different facets. We have been going through the Total Money Makeover with Dave Ramsey (Still a work in progress) We have scrapbooked about our trips, our families, and our friends. And now, we are going to begin another new journey as we learn God's purpose. I can't wait to begin and bond even more with Jen and Connie than I already have.
In the meantime, here is a summary of my lesson today about our worldview.....the beliefs we build our life on
There are 7 popular worldviews. They are as follows:
Materialism-The one with the most toys wins
Individualism-I've got to think of me first
Hedonism-I do whatever feels good
Pragmatism-I do whatever works for me
Naturalism-God doesn't exist or matter
Humanism-You are your own God
Theism-God made me for his purposes. Theology, Study of God
Why does it matter what I believe? Proverbs 4:23 says Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. How powerful and true is that. Our minds and beliefs determine our behaviors. Often times, we go with the flow or our feelings. Feelings are driven by the thoughts we have. So, how do we build this thinking muscle? By working it out just like we do our other physical attributes. To strengthen your worldview, there are 4 things we need to do: Learn what is true, Discern what is false, Turn from the world to the word, and Concern yourself with God's agenda.
So, which view are you going to follow? The empty views or those that are supported by God's Word? For me, I shall dive into the Word and find continue to find out what the Lord has in store for me through learning, faithfulness, and commitment.
Until next time, God Bless and Take Care.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Personal Peace---Following God in the Quiet Times
The path to personal peace......if only that was all it was. A path to follow to sit down at the end and go AHHHHH.....I've arrived. Well, it kind of is that simple in a metaphoric way. We are placed on this earth for a purpose, but this is not our final home. We are destined for much more.
Personal peace:
There are 3 sources of tension for humans: When circumstances are uncontrollable, when people are unchangeable, and when problems are unexplainable. We all want to live in a world where we can grab hold of the horns and make things move! Well, I am slowly learning that everything doesn't happen in my time in the way I want it to be always. Why? Because I am not in control....Only God knows the path he has for us and we must listen to his ways
3 ways that we can guide ourselves on the right path. Accept what cannot be changed, Trust in God's loving care, and Surrender to God's loving control.
Aren't you tired of being at war with God through Worry, Guilt, Bitterness, Anger, Depression, and Despair? God is much more interested in the positive characteristics then he is our comfort. By that I mean, there are times in life when I feel completely cheated out of something good, something that I felt was right. There are times when I am faced with a crisis that I just don't think is fair. How can God be behind all of this. Well, we are sometimes faced with discomfort in order to test out faith or teach us a lesson. Sometimes, we may be faced with this lesson in order to help others or ourselves in a future battle.
There is good news though. There are 3 sources of hope that we can cling onto. His presence is watching over me. His purpose is working in me. His place is waiting for me. These 3 truths could revolutionize the way I think. To know that He is always there with me through good times, bad times, everything. Hmmm.....sounds like wedding vows. lol. But, you get the point.
An interesting thought to finish today up. Sometimes I wonder when I have prayed during times of strife or when I am struggling why I don't hear/feel an immediate response from God. We must remember......the teacher is always quiet during a test!
Take care and God Bless
Personal peace:
There are 3 sources of tension for humans: When circumstances are uncontrollable, when people are unchangeable, and when problems are unexplainable. We all want to live in a world where we can grab hold of the horns and make things move! Well, I am slowly learning that everything doesn't happen in my time in the way I want it to be always. Why? Because I am not in control....Only God knows the path he has for us and we must listen to his ways
3 ways that we can guide ourselves on the right path. Accept what cannot be changed, Trust in God's loving care, and Surrender to God's loving control.
Aren't you tired of being at war with God through Worry, Guilt, Bitterness, Anger, Depression, and Despair? God is much more interested in the positive characteristics then he is our comfort. By that I mean, there are times in life when I feel completely cheated out of something good, something that I felt was right. There are times when I am faced with a crisis that I just don't think is fair. How can God be behind all of this. Well, we are sometimes faced with discomfort in order to test out faith or teach us a lesson. Sometimes, we may be faced with this lesson in order to help others or ourselves in a future battle.
There is good news though. There are 3 sources of hope that we can cling onto. His presence is watching over me. His purpose is working in me. His place is waiting for me. These 3 truths could revolutionize the way I think. To know that He is always there with me through good times, bad times, everything. Hmmm.....sounds like wedding vows. lol. But, you get the point.
An interesting thought to finish today up. Sometimes I wonder when I have prayed during times of strife or when I am struggling why I don't hear/feel an immediate response from God. We must remember......the teacher is always quiet during a test!
Take care and God Bless
Thursday, September 3, 2015
What will you do with the rest of your life?
That's right folks.....I'm on the journey again. A few months back I began Rick Warren's Purpose Drive Life. I got sidetracked with summer. Lately, I have been feeling empty spiritually and it's time for Julie to get her mojo back! :-)
So, here is the lesson for today of what God wants me to do with the rest of my life:
1) God wants me to center my life around him. (Love God through Worship)
2) God wants me to connect with other believers (Love each other through Fellowship)
3) God wants me to cultivate spiritual maturity (Grow in God through Discipleship)
4) God wants me to contribute something back (Serve God in Heaven through Service)
5) God wants me to communicate his love (Missions)
All of these areas are opportunities of growth for me. While, I am a spiritual person, I sometimes weave off the path. Today, I recommit to staying on the path, Listening during the quiet times, and learning through my hardships.
Here I will try to post my lesson/thought for the day.
Follow me on my journey as I discover What on Earth Am I Here For? :-)
Take care and God Bless
So, here is the lesson for today of what God wants me to do with the rest of my life:
1) God wants me to center my life around him. (Love God through Worship)
2) God wants me to connect with other believers (Love each other through Fellowship)
3) God wants me to cultivate spiritual maturity (Grow in God through Discipleship)
4) God wants me to contribute something back (Serve God in Heaven through Service)
5) God wants me to communicate his love (Missions)
All of these areas are opportunities of growth for me. While, I am a spiritual person, I sometimes weave off the path. Today, I recommit to staying on the path, Listening during the quiet times, and learning through my hardships.
Here I will try to post my lesson/thought for the day.
Follow me on my journey as I discover What on Earth Am I Here For? :-)
Take care and God Bless
Fit 4 Fun
Just a quick little post today. I missed workout yesterday and therefore missed my before pictures of my workout team. We are going to take another shot at Christmas time to track our progress. Neal is going to take my pictures tonight so I will post my before also. In the meantime here the team is:
Thank goodness for all the support we give each other every day at 5:30 in the morning and throughout our day. So great to feel like others have your back!
Thank goodness for all the support we give each other every day at 5:30 in the morning and throughout our day. So great to feel like others have your back!
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Mind Over Matter
Ahhhh....the cravings. Our bodies are so good at playing mental games with us. For 2 weeks I have been struggling with food. Well, I guess I'm not struggling with it cuz I am eating everything in sight....lol. Reality is though, it's not funny. I can't stand it when you aren't hungry and yet, you have the munchies. Boredom and Depression are triggers for me. Last week, I was on a pretty drastic downslide from my manic episode so it manifests itself in depression. I just couldn't stay on track. Every day I was eating more than my calories allotted. This week, I have been struck with a lack of things to keep my mind occupied. Thus, my mind become occupied on food. While I have made some wise choice on what I eat, I have also made some poor ones. The truth is.....exercise isn't everything. While it helps, the food is a key part of success. Every day is a new start, a new chance at success. Success....hmm....the backwards way we measure that. You are a success if you are making even one step in the right direction. For me, I have a difficult time accepting it. Black and White I am.....All or nothing. But, as my sister says.....did you do something today that you may not have done previously? Then you are succeeding. So, whether it be a monumental thing or a small step in the right direction, we must give ourselves credit for where we have been, where we are, and where we will be tomorrow and forever in the future. So, until next time....I shall live in the moment. Savor every bite of my life and continue to succeed. God Bless and Take Care
Friday, August 28, 2015
I'm in the Know
This morning, I was able to see my lifeline, AKA my counselor. When I feel like I am flailing, I make an appointment and stabilization begins to occur. Today we worked on fighting fear with facts. Fear/Anxiety are difficult for me. By nature, I am a worrier. I worry about worry. :-) When I am in a worry state of mind, I begin to struggle with reality. This is partly where I have been for the past week. So here is what I know about myself: I know that I have a process in place that helps me manage my diabetes. I know that healthy eating and exercise are helping me to feel better in many aspects of my day. I know that staying in touch with my support system is a vital part of my success. I also know that taking my medication, monitoring my moods, and depending on my support system are helping me to control my bipolar episodes. See, when I am in worry mode, I feel like I have to reinvent the wheel in all aspects of my life. The truth is, that sometimes, we just need to slow down and get an alignment. By recognizing the facts we are able to combat some of the unknowns. Or if nothing else, we are able to shift our focus to things that may truly need our attention.
So, today.....stay in the know. Don't worry about the unknowns and savor the moment. Take each bite of the cake as though it was the last bite!
Take care and God Bless
So, today.....stay in the know. Don't worry about the unknowns and savor the moment. Take each bite of the cake as though it was the last bite!
Take care and God Bless
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Managing the Madness----The Ups and Downs
Ever feel like you are in a boxing match and never got the invitation. Well, this week, I feel like I am fighting myself and it's been a tough match.
Diabetes: For some reason, my blood sugar decided to be a boomerang this week. I have been high then low, then high again. Lately with all the exercise, I have been having low blood sugars that I am learning to manage. However, this week, with the high it left me feeling pretty crummy.
Then comes the bipolar aspect. Mentally, I just am in a funk. I was in a tough manic episode for about 2-3 weeks. Mania, the interesting side of bipolar to me. When you first launch into an episode, you feel great. All the excess energy balled up, so much you can accomplish. Then for me, it manifests in other unhealthy ways. I become super mom. Did you know that one person can fix the world? Well, apparently you can't. So this week has been a slight downslide for me. I thought, oh I am out of the mania. But, I still have the symptoms of "Mind Twirl" as I have chosen to call it. I have all these great ideas of things to change and ways to do it. But, it's just not possible. And the do all, fix all in me just doesn't like that answer.
Weight: Well, as with the other aspects of my life this week, this too has been a struggle thus far. I only made it to work out one day on Monday. This is frustrating for me in many ways. Exercise for me has become a release. Without it, I think emotionally I am worse. I have, however, been able to maintain my calorie counting for the week and am down 1 pound.
Friends and Support System: Here is the up side of the week. I am so blessed to be surrounded with people who genuinely care about me. I have learned in the past 2 years the importance of being transparent with others. I am a good actress. I have been for years. I have always enjoyed putting on a happy face and playing the game. Here's the problem. You are alone. No one is there to help you because no one knows you need any help. Now, I am not alone. I reach out to my "peeps" and know that I am surrounded by people who don't always agree with my decisions but support me no matter what. People who may not experience the same feelings but are there to help me through them. People who, no matter what, don't think of me as crazy but just as someone who has issues just like everyone else in this world we live in.
Positive Spin:
This post hasn't been the most up beat post I have made. But, you know, I am here for a reason. I feel like this blog is my opportunity to express the truth of my life. I also feel like there are others going through the same thing that I am and if I can help one person learn to be transparent then I have succeeded. So, while I may be in a funk......I see my lifeline counselor tomorrow and know that will help. I am so blessed for everything I have in my life, good and bad. Thanks for listening.
Take care and God Bless
Diabetes: For some reason, my blood sugar decided to be a boomerang this week. I have been high then low, then high again. Lately with all the exercise, I have been having low blood sugars that I am learning to manage. However, this week, with the high it left me feeling pretty crummy.
Then comes the bipolar aspect. Mentally, I just am in a funk. I was in a tough manic episode for about 2-3 weeks. Mania, the interesting side of bipolar to me. When you first launch into an episode, you feel great. All the excess energy balled up, so much you can accomplish. Then for me, it manifests in other unhealthy ways. I become super mom. Did you know that one person can fix the world? Well, apparently you can't. So this week has been a slight downslide for me. I thought, oh I am out of the mania. But, I still have the symptoms of "Mind Twirl" as I have chosen to call it. I have all these great ideas of things to change and ways to do it. But, it's just not possible. And the do all, fix all in me just doesn't like that answer.
Weight: Well, as with the other aspects of my life this week, this too has been a struggle thus far. I only made it to work out one day on Monday. This is frustrating for me in many ways. Exercise for me has become a release. Without it, I think emotionally I am worse. I have, however, been able to maintain my calorie counting for the week and am down 1 pound.
Friends and Support System: Here is the up side of the week. I am so blessed to be surrounded with people who genuinely care about me. I have learned in the past 2 years the importance of being transparent with others. I am a good actress. I have been for years. I have always enjoyed putting on a happy face and playing the game. Here's the problem. You are alone. No one is there to help you because no one knows you need any help. Now, I am not alone. I reach out to my "peeps" and know that I am surrounded by people who don't always agree with my decisions but support me no matter what. People who may not experience the same feelings but are there to help me through them. People who, no matter what, don't think of me as crazy but just as someone who has issues just like everyone else in this world we live in.
Positive Spin:
This post hasn't been the most up beat post I have made. But, you know, I am here for a reason. I feel like this blog is my opportunity to express the truth of my life. I also feel like there are others going through the same thing that I am and if I can help one person learn to be transparent then I have succeeded. So, while I may be in a funk......I see my lifeline counselor tomorrow and know that will help. I am so blessed for everything I have in my life, good and bad. Thanks for listening.
Take care and God Bless
Monday, August 24, 2015
Just Another Manic Monday---well not really
Just a song, I am really not in a manic episode. No one call the authorities! Weigh in Monday is really what it is. So last week I worked out 4 days. I also tracked my calories. So, I marched up to "THE SCALE" with confidence. And SMACK right in the face it went. 197.2. Up again! ARGH
Ok reality check.....it's not so bad. What good things did you do last week. You showed up to the gym. You took your medicine. You handled your diabetes. Something was just off.
Time to converse with my personal trainer AKA my sister. :-) Some adjustments I am going to make: Eliminate the 240 calories in milk I was drinking in the mornings. Add a minimum of 1 day of working out on the weekend (Wii, Walking Tape, Resistance Bands)
Complete some goal setting exercises (found at sparkpeople.com) to include various ways to measure progress in this journey.
“A goal properly set is halfway reached.” ~ Zig Ziglar
Additional dates and milestones I'll aim for:
In the meantime, here's a funny I found. We all know who's who. :-)
In the meantime.....Take care and Carry on
Ok reality check.....it's not so bad. What good things did you do last week. You showed up to the gym. You took your medicine. You handled your diabetes. Something was just off.
Time to converse with my personal trainer AKA my sister. :-) Some adjustments I am going to make: Eliminate the 240 calories in milk I was drinking in the mornings. Add a minimum of 1 day of working out on the weekend (Wii, Walking Tape, Resistance Bands)
Complete some goal setting exercises (found at sparkpeople.com) to include various ways to measure progress in this journey.
“A goal properly set is halfway reached.” ~ Zig Ziglar
SMART Goal-Setting Worksheet
Step 1: Write down your goal in as few words as possible.
My goal is to: _______________________________________________________________________________
Step 2: Make your goal detailed and SPECIFIC. Answer who/what/where/how/when.
____________________________________________________________________
HOW will you reach this goal? List at least 3 action steps you'll take (be specific):
1. _____________________________________________________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________________________________________________
Step 3: Make your goal is MEASUREABLE. Add details, measurements and tracking details.
I will measure/track my goal by using the following numbers or methods:
________________________________________________________________________________________________
I will know I've reached my goal when
_______________________________________________________
Step 4: Make your goal ATTAINABLE. What additional resources do you need for success?
Items I need to achieve this goal: _____________________________________________________
How I'll find the time: _______________________________________________________________
Things I need to learn more about: ________________________________________________________
People I can talk to for support: ___________________________________________________________
Step 5: Make your goal RELEVANT. List why you want to reach this goal:
Step 6: Make your goal TIMELY. Put a deadline on your goal and set some benchmarks.
I will reach my goal by (date): ___/___/____.
My halfway measurement will be _____________________ on (date) ___/____/_____.
Additional dates and milestones I'll aim for:
In the meantime, here's a funny I found. We all know who's who. :-)
In the meantime.....Take care and Carry on
Thursday, August 20, 2015
PHOTO BOMB TIME!
Been awhile since I have posted some new pics. So here they are for your viewing pleasure or dart boards, whichever you prefer.
Journey to a Healthier Me
I know, I know.....it's been FOREVER since I have posted. Well, summer hit and chaos began. The kids were super busy with friends for Mackenzie and fishing for Cody. Yes, we have a fisherman among the ranks. Then in July, we had a wedding in Washington DC to attend. After the wedding, the kids stayed out there visiting their grandparents. They came back the day before school started.
Now, school is in full swing. Cody began football practice this week and is anxiously awaiting news about whether he is on JV or Varsity this year. Mackenzie is in choir this year and liking it. In fact, she is going to audition for show choir next week. She has been practicing every night with friends and has high hopes.
As for Neal, he is still working as an electrician and is keeping busy with that.
Now to me.....well I have been going through my own transformation in the past couple of months. I am calling it a journey to a healthier me. See, I weighed in about the beginning of June and was at my highest weight of 209. I had been attempting to lose weight since March with marginal success. So, I thought I will lose weight, that is what I will do. Well, the scale isn't always our friend and doesn't always make me happy. Now, I am on a different journey. A journey of health.
My diabetes has always been a roller coaster for me. In and out of the hospital and just a lot of difficulty. On came the journey.
I began with counting calories with an accountability check-in on Monday with my sister. Results showed slowly. Then plateau city. Not a fun place to visit, I wouldn't recommend it. I then decided to add fitness to the routine. I joined a TEAM Weight Loss class at the gym and went 2-3 times a week. I loved the class. It was a circuit class with little intimidation. But, it was at 6 PM at night. This makes it difficult to maintain family needs so I began to dwindle in class attendance.
Now comes the cool part, I was invited to a work out group here at work. They work out M-Th at 530 AM. WHAT??? You may say. Well, I am an early riser anyways and found myself showing up for work by 6 daily. We began as a small and mighty group of 4. We do Leslie Sansomme walking tapes and Kettle bell workout tapes. Now we are up to 6. Recently we added the Pound Fit workout Tape. This is a fun tape with the use of weighted drum sticks. I also have a Wii at home (Which I haven't used yet :-( Well, here comes the journey part
Through this journey, I have lost a total of 14 pounds. YAY! But with every journey there is a journey downward. This week is it for me. Last week at weigh in time I was up .8 lbs. How could that be? Well while I had worked out 3x last week, I had not logged any of my calories. This week I am on day 4 of working out. I stepped on the scale with confidence only do deflate my balloon with another gain of 1 lb. This devastated me. I thought for sure I was going to show a loss. But, as we all know, there are many different factors that can affect our weight.
Here's the upside of the journey. Every day, I am feeling more energetic. When I began the journey, I was in a size 20W and yesterday I comfortably wore a size 16. These are both wins for me
So, won't you join me on the path? No judging, no discouraging, just a positive place to reflect on the roller coaster. Thanks for listening and keep it up. Together is a better place to be!
Now, school is in full swing. Cody began football practice this week and is anxiously awaiting news about whether he is on JV or Varsity this year. Mackenzie is in choir this year and liking it. In fact, she is going to audition for show choir next week. She has been practicing every night with friends and has high hopes.
As for Neal, he is still working as an electrician and is keeping busy with that.
Now to me.....well I have been going through my own transformation in the past couple of months. I am calling it a journey to a healthier me. See, I weighed in about the beginning of June and was at my highest weight of 209. I had been attempting to lose weight since March with marginal success. So, I thought I will lose weight, that is what I will do. Well, the scale isn't always our friend and doesn't always make me happy. Now, I am on a different journey. A journey of health.
My diabetes has always been a roller coaster for me. In and out of the hospital and just a lot of difficulty. On came the journey.
I began with counting calories with an accountability check-in on Monday with my sister. Results showed slowly. Then plateau city. Not a fun place to visit, I wouldn't recommend it. I then decided to add fitness to the routine. I joined a TEAM Weight Loss class at the gym and went 2-3 times a week. I loved the class. It was a circuit class with little intimidation. But, it was at 6 PM at night. This makes it difficult to maintain family needs so I began to dwindle in class attendance.
Now comes the cool part, I was invited to a work out group here at work. They work out M-Th at 530 AM. WHAT??? You may say. Well, I am an early riser anyways and found myself showing up for work by 6 daily. We began as a small and mighty group of 4. We do Leslie Sansomme walking tapes and Kettle bell workout tapes. Now we are up to 6. Recently we added the Pound Fit workout Tape. This is a fun tape with the use of weighted drum sticks. I also have a Wii at home (Which I haven't used yet :-( Well, here comes the journey part
Through this journey, I have lost a total of 14 pounds. YAY! But with every journey there is a journey downward. This week is it for me. Last week at weigh in time I was up .8 lbs. How could that be? Well while I had worked out 3x last week, I had not logged any of my calories. This week I am on day 4 of working out. I stepped on the scale with confidence only do deflate my balloon with another gain of 1 lb. This devastated me. I thought for sure I was going to show a loss. But, as we all know, there are many different factors that can affect our weight.
Here's the upside of the journey. Every day, I am feeling more energetic. When I began the journey, I was in a size 20W and yesterday I comfortably wore a size 16. These are both wins for me
So, won't you join me on the path? No judging, no discouraging, just a positive place to reflect on the roller coaster. Thanks for listening and keep it up. Together is a better place to be!
Monday, June 1, 2015
Learning the Curve
As many of you may know, I have always had a difficult time with my dental health. Recently I made a large decision that would no doubt impact the rest of my life. Through much consultation, I made the decision to have my remaining upper teeth removed and have a denture. This decision has been an emotional roller coaster for me. While it is a relief to be done with the constant pain, this has been a life changer for me. Physically, I am still in quite a bit of pain due to the swollen gums. But, for me that is only the minor adjustment I have had. Emotionally, well, I am still holding onto the roller coaster. Today is my first day back to work. My first real social exposure. We will see how the day goes. I know they look great, it's just an issue of self confidence. Only a few days into the experience and I am learning that this will definitely be a time of growth for me. Here is the mental game. Will I EVER be able to eat a taco again? Will it EVER just feel normal to have them in? Those NEVER and EVER thoughts swarm around you like a bunch of bees, buzzing in your head. Yes, worry. However, I have tools to combat worry. You fight worry with facts. Facts are this: People eat all the time with dentures. You are less than a week out of surgery, pain and swelling will impact the way you eat. There will be changes and adaptations that will need to be made in certain food circumstances. So, time to flip the negativity. 1) It's an instant diet plan :-) 2) Your smile has never looked better. 3) You were able to eat cheesecake without any problems (It's my favorite) So, overall, if I can keep that trigger flipped into the head part instead of the emotional heart part, I know I can do this! I, as always, have a lot of support surrounding me. I am young and adaptable. I can and will do anything I set my mind to. So for today, I shall conquer my breakfast fear. I have oatmeal and know I can eat it! Until next time........chow on!
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Making memories
Have you ever sat and thought about the memories and impact you have left on those around you? I often do. The trouble is I tend to dwell on the negative impact I may have made. The yelling, the depression, the frustration, etc. The positives are so much easier to cover up. As a parent, I think we need to have a reality check sometimes and realize that we are so much more than the bumps we have encountered. Recently, I have been organizing photos.....I know such a dreary thing for me to do :-) Well, although in the forefront of your head you may only remember some of the bad times. There are soo many positive things that way outweigh them that we need to take pride in them. I think, as humans, we tend to believe that we are the product of our past failures. The truth is that these are all just learning experiences we should appreciate. So, below are some photos of some of the smiles through the years. So, sit back, enjoy the positive pictures!
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